


alternate histories of the same love

by Marcia Elena (marciaelena)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 14:20:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14380437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marciaelena/pseuds/Marcia%20Elena
Summary: This takes place sometime during Season 3. It's all about Dean's love for Sam, and the lengths he'd go for him, but also about his feelings of inadequacy and how he could never be worthy of Sam or properly protect him.





	alternate histories of the same love

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place sometime during Season 3. It's all about Dean's love for Sam, and the lengths he'd go for him, but also about his feelings of inadequacy and how he could never be worthy of Sam or properly protect him.

Sometimes I imagine a world where you didn't die.  
I'm in the passenger seat looking out the window  
and the trees outside are a blur of greens and browns.  
You're driving and I don't know where we're going,  
but it doesn't matter because it's you taking me there.  
It's much later when I realize  
that there isn't a world out there,  
not a single one, real or imagined,  
where I wouldn't sell my soul for you.  
The trees outside the window are still trees  
but all the leaves are falling  
because it's October. Leaves fall in the fall.  
It's a law of nature, or something of the kind.  
There's a rest stop up ahead, and you  
smile at me just before you take the turn.  
_You look tired_ , you say, and I _feel_ tired.  
There's an ache in my chest that wasn't there before  
(it was always there, I just didn't know  
what it meant, I didn't know  
how deep this kind of ache could go).  
We're outside then, outside where the trees are,  
bare branches reaching up in supplication.  
Leaves scatter on the ground, at our feet,  
leaves scatter everywhere,  
leaves like dried-up bones crumbling to dust beneath our boots  
leaves that won't stop falling  
and tangling in your hair.  
I raise my hand and in the blink of an eye it's night  
and the leaves in your hair are now stars  
and all the stars are falling too.  
_It's a law of nature_ , you say. _Everything falls_.  
That thing in my chest flares up  
(some say it's called love, but I named it _brother_ )  
swells and swells like a balloon  
but there must be a hole somewhere  
because all the blood is leaking out  
and I'm falling and you're falling  
and it's all happening so fast  
and when I grab your wrist the sudden pull pulls my arm  
right out of its socket.  
I wake up and you're in the passenger seat  
and I'm the one who's driving  
and there's nothing outside the window.  
_Everything_ , you tell me. _Everything_.

There isn't a single world out there  
(real or imagined,  
cursed or hoped for)  
where you didn't die.


End file.
